Learning to Lead Blog

DEALING WITH GRIEF
One of the hardest things we as humans come in contact with in life is losing someone close to us. We don’t understand why it happens to us or why that person had to go, and it can be very painful. Helping someone close to us through the loss of a loved one can be equally as hard, sometimes we don’t know what we can say or what to do that can possibly make it better for them.
A month ago my boyfriend’s mom passed away from cancer, she was an amazing woman and she was always very kind to me, I was close to her. It was very hard, we all expected her to get better and when she didn’t it was heartbreaking. I had to go through my own grief while trying to help my boyfriend through the loss of a parent. It has been a difficult but some important things to remember when helping someone with their grief is to be there for them, let them know that you are there if they need to talk or cry or if they just want you to listen. Don’t pressure them, they might not be ready to talk about how they are feeling right away and might need some space. Another thing to remember is that they may get angry about things and take it out on you, they don’t mean to but some people especially guys, tend to take out their grief in anger. Just be patient with them and be there when they need you. Be a good friend and show them that you care; it just might be what they need to help them through this hard time.
-Kate Kane

Making Time For Family!
Sometimes our crazy schedule and busy social life causes us to forget to spend time with the most important people in our life…our family! Whether it’s dedicating a day to hanging out with them, going on a family vacation, or making sure to spend time together around the dinner table, we have to make sure we spend time with them! Pick a subject and have a friendly family debate, play a board game, go for a hike, pack a lunch and go on a picnic! No matter what you choose make sure its time you can spend bonding with your family!
If you have siblings make sure to spend time with them too! My younger brother and I like to have “kids only” movie nights where we eat junk food and watch our favorite movies after our parents go to bed, it’s a lot of fun and it helps us stay connected.
Remember, friends will come and go but family is forever!
-Kate Kane

Becoming a Political Volunteer

I would definitely encourage all of you girls (and guys too) to get involved with your town’s governmental and political offices. The best way for you to do this in Middle school and high school is to volunteer!
I recently started volunteering for the mayor of our town, I attend republican committee meetings, help set up events, and basically help with anything else that needs to be done. It’s really interesting because I get to learn all sorts of stuff that is going on in our community and meet influential political people. Plus on top of learning and helping a lot it looks good on a job or college resume!
First find someone to volunteer for that has the same beliefs and values as you. Once you figure out who you would like to volunteer for, find either their phone number or e-mail address so that you can contact them. I suggest calling them if you can, people will have more of a tendency to take you seriously if you take the extra time to call them instead of just writing an e-mail. Once you get a volunteering position make sure to be on time to events, and dress nicely! By dressing nicely I mean NO JEANS, you want to look mature and serious about what you are doing and this includes dressing nicely.
Look your best, do your best, be your best as my mother would say Put your best foot forward and I’m sure you will go far! Good luck!!
-Kate Kane
May 2012

At some point in your life, not matter how easy going and obliging you are, you will run into some sort of conflict. Believe me, I know! I am personally not an over -dramatic person. I try to avoid people that cause problems and all my friends are mature, responsible people. Even though I try to avoid drama and problems, I have still had my share of conflicts, arguments, and “disasters”. For example, I am graduating this year, and there has been nothing but DRAMA when it comes to planning the ceremony! I am homeschooled, so our ceremony is different than a standard high school graduation. All the students sit on stage, the graduates have a slide show of their pictures from when they were babies until now, and both the graduates and the parents give speeches as the graduate receives the diploma. It is really an awesome experience. However, this year there were a ton of people who wanted to change the way things have always been done. This led to two groups of people: those who wanted things to stay the same and those who wanted things to be completely different. Everything was blown way out proportion and there was a lot of arguing and finger pointing going on. Everything is a lot better now, but all the annoying drama could have been avoided if everyone knew how to handle a conflict.
The first thing to remember when there is a disagreement is THINK BEFORE YOU ACT! If you are mad about something and say, write, or do something in the heat of the moment you will most likely regret it later on. So no matter how much it kills you to wait, take a couple hours or days to think it over and act rationally. Second, be willing to listen to the other person’s point of view and consider it before dismissing it. Third, be nice about what you say, don’t attack the person’s beliefs. Fourth, don’t take offence to what they say even if you don’t agree. Last but not least, say what you feel in person or over the phone, not in an e-mail, in a letter, or over text. Things sound a lot different when you are using voice inflections and when they can actually see your face and tell what kind of mood you are in. It will also take less time to say it instead of going back and forth through writing.
I hope you can avoid drama as much as possible, but no matter what happens, a good leader knows how to get their point across without attacking the other person or getting offended. Be yourself, be nice, be confident good luck!!!

-Kate Kane – March 2012

Anyone who has ever had to help do yard work knows how awful weeding is. You have to figure out where the root is, loosen all the soil around it, and then pull it out while making sure to get the WHOLE thing out so it cannot re-grow. Anger and bitterness can affect your life the same way weeds affect a plant. They strangle away all good things, suck all the joy out of your life, and leave you feeling dead inside.
Even if you have a good reason to hate or be bitter towards someone, it does nothing to get back at that person or make you feel better, it only makes you miserable. Even if you want to get rid of anger and bitterness, the hardest part is figuring out how to remove these two nasty weeds from your life.
First, like the weed you have to find the root of the problem. Why are you angry with this person? What makes you bitter towards them? Then you need to try to understand why this person hurt you. What is their life like? What could have happened to them that made them act the way they did? After you have found the root of the problem, you need to forgive them. This is the hardest thing to do, but after you forgive them, you will feel much better. By forgiving them and moving on, you are being the bigger person. You are not letting whatever they did to you affect you in any way. So the next time someone does something to you, whether it be something small like saying something mean to you, or something big like lying about you, just forgive them. Do not let what they did; cause you to sin against them by hating them or being bitter.

Katie Kane
Spring 2012

With the economy being so bad right now it’s really hard for anyone to find a job, especially for someone under the age of 18 (I speak from experience). With no job, this probably means you have no extra money and with no extra money this means you can’t do anything fun right? WRONG! There are tons of awesome activities you can do for little or no cost…you just need to look a little harder.
You could plan a game night with your friends; have each friend bring a snack, a game and BAM, the perfect party without hiring a caterer or breaking the bank.
Another activity for those of you who love the wintertime is sledding! Most parks that usually charge entrance in the summer are closed in the winter and are therefore completely free! So get a bunch of your friends together and hit the slopes.
Here’s one for all of you fashionistas out there, get a group of your girls together and go window shopping  You can have a contest for who can find the craziest outfit, or maybe all search for your dream prom gown, or try on something you would never wear and take crazy pictures. It can be a lot of fun and it doesn’t cost anything!
If you’re more of a sports person why not plan a pickup game? Have a guys against girls sports day or all head to the beach for Frisbee and volleyball, whatever you choose remember that it’s all about having fun whether your team dominates or loses by a billion points.
There are so many things you can plan for free, put on your thinking cap and come up with something you and your friends would enjoy doing. Good luck! Have fun and stay safe

-Kate Kane
February ‘12

I recently read the book “The Hiding Place” by Corrie Ten-Boom; it is the true story of the Ten-Boom family who took in Jews and Dutch underground workers in Holland during the Holocaust. The Ten-Boom family risked everything to harbor these people illegally in their home, and eventually they were sent to a German Concentration camp. Corrie, her father Casper, and her sister Betsie were the main characters in the book, although other members of their family also helped harbor the Jews and even worked with the underground. Casper died in Prison, and after months of abuse and illness Betsie died in Ravensbruck Concentration camp. Corrie survived and lived to be in her 90’s! Even though she was abused by the Nazi’s, she was able to forgive them and not grow bitter.
My question today is what would you do if you were faced with a similar situation? Would you be like the Nazi’s who were too afraid to stand up against the majority to help someone in need? Or would you be like the Ten-Booms who gave their very lives to do what they knew was right? A strong leader always thinks of others before themselves, they show courage even if that means risking their lives, and they always do what is right. Would you be able to do that? I hope I would be able to be that selfless and caring, obviously you don’t know how you would react to something like that until it happens. However, I hope you and I would be able to do the right thing, and help those in need, no matter what the cost.

-Kate Kane February ‘12

By: Kate Kane
9/21/11

As we work through the final months of high school, everyone is starting to look ahead to what comes after graduation. For most people this includes selecting a college. I am currently in my senior year of high school so I have already gone to visit a couple of colleges and have another campus tour planned for next week. Although meeting the standards of the school is very important, you also have to make sure the school meets your standards and requirements. The best way to find out which school is for you is to ask lots and lots of questions.
Normally after the tour is over you have the option to meet with the college’s admissions counselor. I highly suggest that you take the time to meet with them! Not only do you find out about scholarships and financial aid, but you also have a chance to ask them any questions you might have about the school, the area, the students, etc.
A couple of important questions that you should ask are: What percentage of the schools budget goes towards scholarships? Are there any internships available for my major? If so, what percentage of students are able to participate in these internships? If I were to go to a community college before attending this school (community colleges are waaaaay cheaper) would my classes be transferable? If I don’t have a car is there any kind of transportation (buses, car pools etc.) available to me? What are the rules at this school when it comes to dating (PDA, dorm visiting hours etc.)? Are the dorms co-ed; do girls and guys share the same building or are there separate dorms for both? How many students go on to get jobs in their field of choice? Are students able to work part time while attending? If so, what are the chances of working a job on campus? What do those jobs pay?
I’m sure you have a ton of other questions that you will want to ask, just make sure to write them down and be prepared. Doing so will help you find the perfect school. Don’t try to fit the college, find a college that will fit you! Good luck!!! 

For many of us young and old alike, this weekend may have been spent watching the latest Harry Potter movie.  I know that many of our students have grown up as Harry Potter fans.   At our girls’ only leadership program last week, many participants could not wait to go see the movie! 

Leadership and Harry Potter?   As leadership expert, Scott Eblin analyzes, Harry might just be a great case study in Servant Leadership.   Learn how Harry can be seen as utilizing this leadership style effectively from Scott Eblin’s latest post.

Summertime is officially here!  Everyone is done with school and spending lots of time hanging with friends, tanning, and catching up on some much needed sleep.  As great as the relaxation is, you can start getting bored after weeks of…well… nothing.    So before you go completely stir crazy, here are a few ideas for how to make your summer more interesting. 

                One option is to volunteer someplace every week. Try volunteering at a hospital, an animal shelter, a nursing home, a soup kitchen or basically any place that interests you.  You could even get a couple friends to volunteer with you so you’re having fun and helping other people at the same time. 

                Another idea is to write a book list and try to read every book on it by the end of the summer. How about including in your list the latest books by your favorite authors, some classic literature or books on a subject that you’re interested in? It gives you something to talk about with your friends or something to do while you’re lounging at the beach. You might not be able to go that far from home this summer, but by reading book you can go anywhere you choose to go.    

                One of the most popular activities for most teens during the summer is finding a summer job. You could work at an ice cream shop, a grocery store, your favorite clothing store, or even at your local library.  However, if you’re not really old enough to get a job outside of the house or if you just love kids, why don’t you try your hand at babysitting?  Your local Red Cross  provides a class so that you can be properly certified. After taking the class you can make your own business cards and hand them out to your neighbors, your parents’ friends, and people at your church, or even your teachers that have small children.

                If you’re an athlete, a great idea for you is to get in better shape for your sport; set weekly goals for yourself and work to achieve them.  Some ideas for you are to go jogging every morning with a friend, practice sprints, improve your flexibility, or increase your accuracy.  Make sure to set healthy goals and drink lots of water and eat nutritious food.  Overworking yourself and abusing your body will do nothing to help you improve.

                Whatever you choose to do this summer, make sure you have fun, stay healthy and work on more than just your outward appearance.  I hope you all have a blast this summer!!!

-Katie Kane (6/11)